Gone Fishin’

Why is it, more often than not, a man’s dating profile includes images of him proudly holding up a fish? Is it because he wants us to believe we will never go hungry if we chose him? Are we to be impressed by his primal hunting instincts and deft bate and hook skills? Should we to be lured by his cleverness in tricking an animal with the IQ of Dory?  News Flash: You guys are marketing to the wrong audience; You’re using the wrong bait.   We don’t want to see your fish.  A fish doesn’t make you “hot” it makes you “smelly.”  You’re not Brad Pitt in  A River Runs Through It; You are  Joe Pesci in Gone Fishin’.  My response to the guy with the catfish:

Hey, nice fish but I saw a dating profile photo of this guy holding up a gift certificate to Mama’s Fish House in Maui and I’m hoping to hook him.  If he gets away, I’m considering this other guy I ran into at the check-out line in the grocery store.  Can you believe this man single handedly found the crab legs, asparagus and cheetos? He’s a keeper. I’m going to marry his ass!

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